A year without Elle

                                                                              

Hard to believe little girl has been gone a whole year.  She has been gone longer than she was alive - for over a month actually. It is weird, unreal even.  In many ways it feels like yesterday. We love her so much as many others do.  We miss her; our longing for her burns, but we are so, so grateful that we are her parents.

Stefan (Steve), Chloe, and I honored Elle's memory today in a couple of ways and the day was sunny and cool and beautiful.  Perfect. 

We woke up leisurely and I made scrambled eggs and butterfly shaped pancakes with apricot syrup- yum. We looked at a few pictures of her and then went to Capitol Nursery to choose a tree to plant.  A SUPER helpful tree expert, Dave helped us to choose the perfect tree.  We spent nearly 2 hours choosing just the right one. In the end, we chose one that looks pretty on this day with red fall leaves and has a beautiful lavender/pink bloom in the summer. It is small, delicate looking, graceful, balanced, but strong; just like our Elizabeth.



Steve and Chloe digging a hole for the tree



                                                                            

Later, we went to Elle's grave and released a dozen gorgeous Monarchs.  All flew away gracefully except for one that took a shine to Chloe.  The last butterfly lingered on her finger and even let her kiss it.  Chloe was as gentle with this butterfly as she was with her own sister!  It too, finally floated away. It was lovely!



Already dark when I remembered to photograph Elle's tree!



Later we had a nice Thai lunch, watched a compilation of home movies and photos of Elle, and  lit her special candle. Of course we cried too, but over all, it was a perfect way to spend Elle's Heaven Birthday, as Chloe calls it. (Tonight she said "On November fourth, Elle died and went to her big birthday party in Heaven" -cool, huh).

I read this today too but I don't know the author:

Where I have gone I am not so small
My soul is as wide as the world is tall.
I have gone to answer the call, the call
Of the one who takes care of us all.
Wherever you look, you will find me there-
In the heart of a rose,
In the heart of a prayer.
On butterflies' wings, on wings of my own,
To you I'm gone,
But I'm never alone-
I am home

Thank you to everyone who loves Elle and has supported us today and always.  We received thoughtful, loving messages today.  Lightens our hearts knowing that Elle is still so ALIVE in all of us...

God Bless